Well, I have decided that my imagination about what to write about waiting on our grand daughters in China is about empty.  How many times can you say you wish time would fly right now?  I guess if I am to continue this blog, I will have to come up with other ideas.

 

It is certainly spring in the desert.  The temperatures go back and forth from the 70's to the 90's and back down and up again.  The fresh spring green of the Palo Verde's and Mesquite trees are turning a more subdued green as their bright yellow blossoms fall onto the ground; the spring winds from California blowing them across the brown desert floor.  The pollen count is sky high and lizards are doing push ups on the concrete block wall that surrounds our back yard.  Green and yellow are the color of spring, as summer rapidly chases its heels.  Yellow blossoms on Prickly Pear Cacti will soon turn to green fruit and then into the juicy red fruit which will bring birds and other desert animals to feast upon them.  The spindly Ocotillo stands tall against the blue sky like an upside down spider; its tiny green leaves bursting forth and the bright orange flumes at its tips sway in the wind.  Soon the Giant Saguaro Cacti will burst forth with beautiful white blossoms upon its giant arms and they will turn into another red fruit that the beasts and birds of the desert will feast upon.

 

And who said, "the desert is dead"?

Wow -- will it ever end?  Will we ever get that phone call that they received their phone call and that they have seen a picture of a baby or babies that will soon be in their loving arms?  So much speculation about why and no one really knows.  The act of patience is something that anyone who goes through the Chinese adoption process knows so much about.

 

This red tape is spinning and weaving a web of confusion and complications for the summer.  No one knows when these babies will arrive on the scene.  This web of confusion is making summer arrangements and accomodations nearly impossible.  Will we be going to Washington to meet these babies or will we be going to China to meet them?  Will T & D be going to Washington for their scheduled classes and needing help in China with babies?  Will they spend their entire summer in China waiting and still not know when these babies will arrive?  There are no answers to these questions. We all must simply wait it out.   Che Sera Sera -- what will be will be.  That is the answer.  We will wait along with them -- we will go where and when we need to.  We will cherish the thoughts and dreams of them.  We will wait.  When we see them for the first time -- we will know why the wait was worth it. 

 

The reason for the picture is ... we plant a seed ... we wait ... often through many months of winter ... suddenly a small growth of green emerges from the earth  ... it grows ... a bud begins and finally a beautiful flower bursts forth.  If we had not been patient ... we may have dug it up just before that green emerged or the bud appeared or the beautiful flower burst forth.  We wait...

Now I really try hard not to go out and buy up the entire baby sections of stores.  I know my daughter and son-in-law would frown upon that.  Our bank account would not fair too well either.  So, I keep myself under control and buy only when I simply cannot stand it any longer.  Or, if my daughter says, "mom, I have a shopping task for you".  Oh my goodness...I get excited then.  I am given permission, free rein...I am like a horse when the bell rings at the Preakness.  That was how the mulititude of Easter Baskets began.

 

This task was that I was given permission to purchase Crocs for the babies.  Now, I am not crazy enough to go out and buy Crocs for a baby or babies that I do not know the size of.  I told her that I would have to wait until she could send me a little foot print of them to know what size.  However, the waiting has been getting to me.  The other day, I was in this store and there they were ... hanging in rows.  Big ones for Po Po's and little ones for those precious little girls.  I wanted to buy those tiny little purple ones or pink ones or blue ones or green ones or red ones.  But...at 25 bucks a pop, I had to control myself.  I would have no idea what size.  They all look tiny, but would they be too big or too small?  So, I just bought one pair...a big pair of hot pink ones for Po Po. 

 

Little ones...hurry up and have ma ma and ba ba measure your cute tiny feet for me.  This summer we will slosh around the grass in Washington together.  Won't we be stylin'?  Maybe Ma Ma needs a pair too.

 

 

Well, I am not sure what others do, but this g'ma, nana or po po in waiting volunteers at her church.  She volunteers more than ever because she isn't working.  But, that is another story.

 

She works with other women of faith in a women's ministry that prepares and presents women's retreats.  We have one coming up called "Beloved Daughter of God".  The first time I thought about that, I was in awe of the simple yet powerful tone of those words.  I am a beloved daughter of God.  He loves me without fail.  I do not have to do anything to deserve this love and there is NOTHING I can do that will take it away.  It is unconditional, it has no limits, it is free and it is mine.  WOW!  I wish all women (and men) could know this kind of love.  It frees me to be who God has meant me to be all along.  What a gift.  I sometimes fail miserably in accepting that and believing it on a daily basis.  I allow the world...society...people...to cloud my vision of who I am and what I am worth.  I make mistakes, He forgives me.  He gives me another chance.  He wipes my slate clean again.  He needs to sometimes remind me just how beloved I am.

 

My goal as a grandmother...a nana or a po po is that my grand-daughters (or grand-sons someday) might know the depth of God's love for them.  I hope that they will know that through my example.  I know I will shower them with love and I want them to know how much love I have for them.  I want them to know how beautiful, how valued, how precious, how loved, how whole they are.  I want them to know that this love is unconditional and has no strings attached.  I want them to know that they get a clean slate everyday to start over if they need to.  Hard as I try, I know I could never accomplish that without the knowledge that God loves me like that.  His love for me will overflow onto them.  I have always known God loved me.  I just never knew how much. 

 

Darling baby grand-daughters...wherever you are...know that you are precious...you are loved, you are valued, you are beautiful and you are whole.  Stay safe until your ma ma and ba ba come for you. 

 

Love, Po Po